I met him when I was 21, my first night out in the club with my girls. The nightclub life was a new experience for me, so I was excited to have a cocktail, dance and socialize all in one place. As my eyes gazed across the room, I couldn't help but to notice him in his brown polyester suit. The suit didn't matter to me. Hell, I was financially strapped in those days too. Ladies, if you wanna have my definition of fine...he was it! 6ft 5inches, 240lbs, nice brown cocoa complexion and the light brown eyes. I creamed my panties for the first time. My girls noticed we had made eye contact with one another and insisted that I go and introduce myself. Yet, I was reluctant, primarily because I was shy..yes, I was a bit shy back in those days if you can wrap your mind around that. Somehow, I managed to give him a flyer that gave all the details of our next upcoming fashion event. I almost passed out when his hand touched mine. We were fuckin' less than three weeks later. (Men: a woman knows within 90 seconds or less if she will fuck you).
By now, you know my weakness is a man in uniform, preferrably in police and marines gear. His name was James and he was the first man in history to steal my heart. Now James and I had an on again off again relationship, those are the type of relationships I advise you to steer away from, in my opinion, the breakup is harsh, but the getting back together is the best part. You're always on a honeymoon. So anywho, yes, yes, James stole my inexperienced heart. Back then my personality trait was that of a shy, reserved, submissive and afraid to say whats on my mind individual. Imagine that. James dragged my ass through the mud, but he had my heart and I welcomed him with open arms each and everytime he darkened my doorstep. The sex was awesome when I got it from him and if we were in between our honeymoon and divorce phase, who ever I was with at that particular time knew that if James came around, whatever form of a so-called relationship we had, it was over. Well, the tip of the ice-berg was when James moved away to Canada. Talk about heart-break. I knew he was fuckin' someone else and he had his own way of telling me, yet it didn't matter. My mind was gone. Our torrid affair ended about 2 years later. That's when I came in contact with my first crazy stalker (I didn't know he was crazy at the time) that demanded I stopped seeing James. However, I always felt James was nearby, he had a way of knowing who I was dating and what that person was about without me even telling him.
Lets jump to 9 years later. There I was working and my attention was drawn to the car that parked in front of my home. It was an unfamiliar red mustang. "who the hell is this" I said to myself. The driver's side door opened and out comes the love of my life. Damn you James! By this time, My tongue had grew a few swords and I wasn't as shy as the first time we met. I allowed him in my home and we began talking about life experiences to bring each other up to speed. If my memory serves me correct, we fucked a week later. Here we go with that on again off again shit. Yes, I was seeing someone. Remember we talked about those stereo-types in previous posts? I was seeing the "Italian" at that time, but James didn't give a damn and I was terrified to betray the order, yet I felt safe with James. We will discuss that entire story at a later date. So here we are again, almost a decade later, fucking, sucking, spending quality time with family and friends. Life was good. I was happy and I experienced my first orgasm with him. I was on top riding his dick and I felt something I had never felt my body do. It was the best, I still remember it to this day. I was observant of the fact that James stopped moving and paid attention to the movements, temperatures and convulsions of my body. He was quiet and observant as well, as if he was learning my body. I figured at that point he knew all the other orgasms I had were "fake". Sorry baby, I was youthful then and didn't know my body. Then, one day he vanished.....no call, no mail, nothing.....he just vanished. I was worried. My thoughts quickly shifted to "they got him!" I had the police and the damn Italians watching my home. Did I mention that James was the police? I probably didn't in the beginning, Odd enough, I never saw him in his uniform, but I did take a cruise or two in his police car. James didn't need the uniform, he was the total package. So with James missing in action and the Maf...I mean the Italians watching me like a hawk, what else was I to think. As time went on, I went on with my life, but I could never shake the thought of what happened to James. I did what anyone would do in my situation, I started looking for him. I went through newspapers, internet social sites, and any other source that would give me closure on what happened to him. I began my investigative work with full force but as the years went on my search dwindled. Yet, I never forgot about him.
So here we are in the year 2011 and guess who I talked with today? Yep, you got it James. Talk about a flashback! I was on a social site earlier today and almost instinctively, typed his name in and there he was. Now understand, I am not the same person I was 5, 10 or 15 years ago. I'm done with the back and forth shit. I needed closure from him. I needed to know what happened to him and why he wasn't able to share his current predicament with me at that time. I got my answer today! We talked for about 20 minutes, again catching up on things and it was a good conversation. What's next? 95% of the men I have dated are now "friends" if you want to use that term. We have good conversation and periodically may do lunch or dinner. Yet, I know with James I better be a bit more "careful." It may be a good idea to keep him in cyber world as opposed to bringing him into my real world again. I know it would be a long fuckin' session!
PSSST...
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