Monday, October 10, 2011
Wide Asleep
From time to time I find myself faced with the challenge of Insomnia. Most of the time it's caused by something that is weighing heavy on my mind or a project or two that I may have been working on. However, tonight things are a bit different. I was not certain why this particular individual had been on my mind for the last few weeks, but now I understand that he is asking for his due diligence for the huge impact he made on my life, which in-turn....led me here! Talking and sharing with you. I have mentioned him in my previous blogs, but now I feel his short ass is at the point of haunting me because I haven't told the full story.
I was 19 years old and landed my first job in the Corporate world. I was a Secretary for 6 OB/GYN physicians. What a wonderful classroom I had before me! I didn't realize it at the time, but all the tools and education that I needed to understand life in general were placed at my fingertips, yet, I was more focused on my upcoming weekend plans instead of listening to some "over the hill" physicians discuss their patients issues. Most of the doctors I worked for back then have crossed over (they dead), but I will never forget the life lessons they attempted to bestow on my then juvenille brain.
His name was William M. Chavis, M.D., Obstetrician/Gynecologist and Director of the Center for Sexual Health. He died of Cancer about 14 years ago and even though I was no longer employed with the place we made our acquaintance, I made certain that I paid my last respects to him. Dr. Chavis was not just one of my bosses....he was my friend and I now realize he was also my mentor. Too young and dumb to realize it at that time. It was Dr. Chavis that forced me to begin my public speaking to medical students, residents (doctors in training) and seasoned physicians. He always claimed he was too busy with patients and couldn't meet the obligation of introducing his guest speakers. I eventually found that story not to be true.
When I am asked the question of how I became involved with my type of business, my answer is generally quite simple...."Sex never has a recession!" Yes, this is true but it's important for me to go into greater detail so this short ass dead man will stop haunting me, which means I can continue with my normal sleep pattern.
I accept all types of people into my life! I have no heaven or hell to place anyone into, therefore I do not judge! It has never mattered to me if you were male, female, undecided, in the closet, under the bed or hanging out the window! I accept all!!! Dr. Chavis had a sex-kit that he used for couples that were having marital problems. I can't say if the act was ever done in his office, I was not allowed to come into counseling sessions. However, I do recall a few angry husbands and wives storming out of his office with doors slamming behind them. In some cases when one portion of the married party suggests counseling into their life, the other party feels as if they are being attacked by their husband/wife as well as the person that is provding counseling for them. I also recall meeting a happily married couple of 33 years. Dr. Chavis prepped me for the introduction prior to our meeting of this wonderful couple. He understood the experience was a new one for me. He did the right thing! Fred and Melissa Pharr......Love is a beautiful thing when the person you are with accepts ALL of you. His name was Fred during the day and she was Melissa during the day. His name became Allison in the evening and she remained Melissa. He was her husband, she was his wife and then they became best girlfriends in the evening helping one another out with make-up and accessories. Fred and Melissa were the happiest couple I had met, even as of today! Acceptance of diversity was my lesson for that day. I eventually had the honor of introducing Fred as the keynote speaker for one of Dr. Chavis' symposiums.
Years later I was showcasing some of my greatest works of art at the ever famous "HairWars" in Detroit and remained in my element of comfort while all the other models and stylist began giggling, laughing and pointing at "their" uncomfortable and unfamiliar surroundings. A stylist from the Ohio had travelled to Michigan to participate in the show and all his models were Drag Queens! The only problem that I had with the Queens was those bitches make-up and hair looked as if they had stepped out of Vogue Magazine and the heffa's knew it.
With life being my classroom and Dr. Chavis serving as my mentor, I realize I am very fortunate to have had the opportunities that are behind me and forthcoming. Please understand...I'm not saying that nothing shocks me, but I am saying...you will never know when I am shocked!
Thank you Dr. Chavis! Please Rest in Peace so that I may Sleep in Peace!!!
PSSST...
I was 19 years old and landed my first job in the Corporate world. I was a Secretary for 6 OB/GYN physicians. What a wonderful classroom I had before me! I didn't realize it at the time, but all the tools and education that I needed to understand life in general were placed at my fingertips, yet, I was more focused on my upcoming weekend plans instead of listening to some "over the hill" physicians discuss their patients issues. Most of the doctors I worked for back then have crossed over (they dead), but I will never forget the life lessons they attempted to bestow on my then juvenille brain.
His name was William M. Chavis, M.D., Obstetrician/Gynecologist and Director of the Center for Sexual Health. He died of Cancer about 14 years ago and even though I was no longer employed with the place we made our acquaintance, I made certain that I paid my last respects to him. Dr. Chavis was not just one of my bosses....he was my friend and I now realize he was also my mentor. Too young and dumb to realize it at that time. It was Dr. Chavis that forced me to begin my public speaking to medical students, residents (doctors in training) and seasoned physicians. He always claimed he was too busy with patients and couldn't meet the obligation of introducing his guest speakers. I eventually found that story not to be true.
When I am asked the question of how I became involved with my type of business, my answer is generally quite simple...."Sex never has a recession!" Yes, this is true but it's important for me to go into greater detail so this short ass dead man will stop haunting me, which means I can continue with my normal sleep pattern.
I accept all types of people into my life! I have no heaven or hell to place anyone into, therefore I do not judge! It has never mattered to me if you were male, female, undecided, in the closet, under the bed or hanging out the window! I accept all!!! Dr. Chavis had a sex-kit that he used for couples that were having marital problems. I can't say if the act was ever done in his office, I was not allowed to come into counseling sessions. However, I do recall a few angry husbands and wives storming out of his office with doors slamming behind them. In some cases when one portion of the married party suggests counseling into their life, the other party feels as if they are being attacked by their husband/wife as well as the person that is provding counseling for them. I also recall meeting a happily married couple of 33 years. Dr. Chavis prepped me for the introduction prior to our meeting of this wonderful couple. He understood the experience was a new one for me. He did the right thing! Fred and Melissa Pharr......Love is a beautiful thing when the person you are with accepts ALL of you. His name was Fred during the day and she was Melissa during the day. His name became Allison in the evening and she remained Melissa. He was her husband, she was his wife and then they became best girlfriends in the evening helping one another out with make-up and accessories. Fred and Melissa were the happiest couple I had met, even as of today! Acceptance of diversity was my lesson for that day. I eventually had the honor of introducing Fred as the keynote speaker for one of Dr. Chavis' symposiums.
Years later I was showcasing some of my greatest works of art at the ever famous "HairWars" in Detroit and remained in my element of comfort while all the other models and stylist began giggling, laughing and pointing at "their" uncomfortable and unfamiliar surroundings. A stylist from the Ohio had travelled to Michigan to participate in the show and all his models were Drag Queens! The only problem that I had with the Queens was those bitches make-up and hair looked as if they had stepped out of Vogue Magazine and the heffa's knew it.
With life being my classroom and Dr. Chavis serving as my mentor, I realize I am very fortunate to have had the opportunities that are behind me and forthcoming. Please understand...I'm not saying that nothing shocks me, but I am saying...you will never know when I am shocked!
Thank you Dr. Chavis! Please Rest in Peace so that I may Sleep in Peace!!!
PSSST...
Monday, October 3, 2011
Third Times a Charm!!!
"I do not like long-distance relationships!" It may work for some of you guys but for me it is truly a challenge. Not that I'm driven to the point of infidelity but sometimes I want to hold my man when I feel like it, not when the opportunity presents itself. I gather my feelings come from previous experiences (obviously). The winter months are slowly creeping in and well......I'm trying to figure out which unpacked box is holding my heating blanket hostage. Roger and I are doing well with our reuniting, however, there comes a time to say hello and of course a time to say good-bye. The good-byes are the tough part. We have remained consistent with our communications and poured out our emotions to one another, yet it's impossible to hug your baby over the phone or computer.
"Do you really want to continue this? I've asked myself this question a few times over several months. Here is my answer: I love him and love conquers all!!! It amazes me how passionate one can become when emotions are involved...hence my ying/yang weekend with Roger. I use the term ying/yang because you can not have the good without the bad and vice versa. Before I tell you what happened between us, keep in mind that it takes an awful lot of bullshit to piss me off to the point of screaming, yelling and on a really bad day throwing. It's been a while since I had a temper-tantrum. You usually don't walk away from those with any style or grace.
I was so excited to know that Roger would be coming to town this weekend. The anticipation of his scent excited me. It's not always about sex with us, his natural scent actually brings me comfort (pheromone shit). I made the necessary provisions so that our limited time would not be compromised and was on my way to see my baby......that's when all hell broke loose. Here's my advice....if you're new to an area and not familiar with your surroundings, I beg you to please use either your GPS locator or Google Maps. I beg you....please do not use that "other shit!" That "other shit" caused a big ass fight between Roger and I and boy did it get ugly!!!! We yelled at each other, used horrible levels of profanity and I even called him a few choice words silently and please know he genuinely returned the favor to me as well. The fighting continued for 45 minutes or more, I lost 2 cigarettes in the midst of the bickering...the 1st one I threw out the window (yay me) and the 2nd one ended up on the dashboard, which tells me I more than likely threw it. It's bad when you don't recall how certain things happen. We were both at a level 9 that day (10 being the highest level of anger). Bottom line....I found my baby and when I was close in his embrace, all the yelling, cussing and smoke throwing that we had just experienced...didn't matter!!! I actually learned a lot from that experience.
Lesson:
1. Don't smoke while angry
2. Use GPS or Google Maps
3. Roger still doesn't tolerate too much of my bullshit
4. I won't tolerate much of Roger's bullshit
5. Make-up Sex is still the greatest thing since sliced bread
6. He was worth the 45 minute "lost in translation" drive
7. Love Conquers All even Long-Distance Relationships
So this is my third time around the "long-distance" relationship corner and you know what....Yeahhhhhhh, I want to continue this! He's worth it!!!
PSSST...
"Do you really want to continue this? I've asked myself this question a few times over several months. Here is my answer: I love him and love conquers all!!! It amazes me how passionate one can become when emotions are involved...hence my ying/yang weekend with Roger. I use the term ying/yang because you can not have the good without the bad and vice versa. Before I tell you what happened between us, keep in mind that it takes an awful lot of bullshit to piss me off to the point of screaming, yelling and on a really bad day throwing. It's been a while since I had a temper-tantrum. You usually don't walk away from those with any style or grace.
I was so excited to know that Roger would be coming to town this weekend. The anticipation of his scent excited me. It's not always about sex with us, his natural scent actually brings me comfort (pheromone shit). I made the necessary provisions so that our limited time would not be compromised and was on my way to see my baby......that's when all hell broke loose. Here's my advice....if you're new to an area and not familiar with your surroundings, I beg you to please use either your GPS locator or Google Maps. I beg you....please do not use that "other shit!" That "other shit" caused a big ass fight between Roger and I and boy did it get ugly!!!! We yelled at each other, used horrible levels of profanity and I even called him a few choice words silently and please know he genuinely returned the favor to me as well. The fighting continued for 45 minutes or more, I lost 2 cigarettes in the midst of the bickering...the 1st one I threw out the window (yay me) and the 2nd one ended up on the dashboard, which tells me I more than likely threw it. It's bad when you don't recall how certain things happen. We were both at a level 9 that day (10 being the highest level of anger). Bottom line....I found my baby and when I was close in his embrace, all the yelling, cussing and smoke throwing that we had just experienced...didn't matter!!! I actually learned a lot from that experience.
Lesson:
1. Don't smoke while angry
2. Use GPS or Google Maps
3. Roger still doesn't tolerate too much of my bullshit
4. I won't tolerate much of Roger's bullshit
5. Make-up Sex is still the greatest thing since sliced bread
6. He was worth the 45 minute "lost in translation" drive
7. Love Conquers All even Long-Distance Relationships
So this is my third time around the "long-distance" relationship corner and you know what....Yeahhhhhhh, I want to continue this! He's worth it!!!
PSSST...
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